The All Britney & Kevin Edition

Honestly, what else were you expecting?

Preggers: The Life of Britney Spears
This is so f*cking hilarious. I might watch it again later.
And speaking of hilarious?...I don't even know what to say about last night's debut of Britney & Kevin: Chaotic. Words fail me. Almost. I guess that's what happens when you spend your life touring from a young age...you end up at 23 with the maturity level of an 8 year old. And the intelligence. If there has ever been anything more comparable to a train wreck, I would like to know what it is. Seriously, I stared in disbelief, as if I were watching the f*cking moon landing. Trying to explain/describe last night's show is like me trying to explain quantam physics. Basically, I can't do it. Nevertheless, I watched the show in it's entirety while feasting on delicacies such as cheetos (crunchy and the other kind), KFC, Taco Bell, and Red Bull...then afterwards, watched Brit Brit and K Fed on Ellen (thanks to Ashley and her master recording skills).

The Late Show's Top Ten Reasons to Watch Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's New Show:
10. BRITNEY: There's never-before-seen footage of me wrestling an alligator.
9. KEVIN: Unlike those Desperate Housewives chicks, we're not, like, 60 years old.
8. BRITNEY: It's like American Idol except no one sleeps with Paula Abdul.
7. KEVIN: In the first episode, you can see my ass.
6. BRITNEY: I'm hot.
5. KEVIN: She's hot.
4. BRITNEY & KEVIN: We haven't had nearly enough media coverage.
3. BRITNEY: It's gotta be better than this show.
2. KEVIN: If enough people tune in, maybe my wife will make out with Madonna again.
1. BRITNEY: In the season finale, you'll find out that Dave is the father of my baby - oops.
(via stereogum)

Not one to be biased (I can't help it if a majority of the time everyone else is wrong), here are what some other people thought of Britney/Kevin/the show:

The only thing I kept thinking was how immature Britney really is. She keeps making faces and seems uncomfortable doing simple things like talking or answering questions.
(pink is the new blog referring to Britney on Ellen)

9:12 – aw sad moment, poor lonely britney talks over “everytime” video, I shed a single tear
9:13 – britney hates love, is a “bitter betty” – note to self: add this phrase into my daily vocab
9:17 – its pretty clear britney annoys the living shit out of everyone she knows
9:54 – I am convinced that brintey spends a good 85% of her time giggling
(immoderation during her liveblog)

It was as if I was promised an hour-long trip to Sea World as a child. But just as I showed up, instead of happy and fun, there was no sea, no sea animals and no world. Just a big black sucking hole of unintelligence. Yep. That's about it.
(dude.man.phat compares it to Sea World)

The thing is, we can handle Britney's truth. We just don't want to. In the middle of her short-lived Onyx Hotel tour (and 30 minutes into the show), Britney met backup dancer Kevin. If this project — which would have benefited from the MTV treatment — was meant to paint the happy couple in an endearing light, it, like, totally didn't work, y'all. Britney and her surly future husband appeared to be dumber than we ever imagined.
(ny daily news didn't like it)

it was so bad... but we couldnt turn it off .
(my friend Kathy)

Later y'all.
R.